Life is Like a Box of Chocolates

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get" - Forrest Gump's Momma

I received a box of chocolates for Christmas and I have to be honest upon receiving them was not entirely thrilled. It's not that I am not grateful....it's that I do not like boxes of chocolates....let me explain.

I have never liked boxes of chocolates because, "you never know what you're going to get." For the most part very few companies take the time to label what is going in the box and where it lands. I can remember trying chocolates from a box as a kid and biting into ones that were just plain weird. When you dig into a chocolate box you have to take that risk that you may not like what you bite into. After a few bad experiences I just decided it's best to get plain labeled chocolate. I like dark chocolate. 

So here I was sitting with the first box of chocolates I have received in a very long time as a gift. I opened it up hoping for a chart, but none was to be found. It was frustrating but then I began having these existential thoughts....

Life really is like a box of chocolates. You have to take risks or it will all go to waste.

The chocolates are like little experiences and such, they can be an activity, a place, a food, or even a person. They are all different, but what they have in common is that they are all unknown or mostly unknown to you. Knowing myself I like to have things known and figured out before trying or approaching it. I don't like to take a risk unless I know what is coming and how to handle it...which makes it less of a risk really at all.

Here are some examples....
I don't know that person so I'd rather not go visit with them.
I don't know if that food tastes good so I'd rather not try it.
I don't know if I am the best person for ___ so I will not volunteer.
I don't know if I would be very good at writing so why spend the time.
I don't know if I'll like zip-lining so I better just sit it out.
I don't know if I'll be safe on that ride so I'll skip it.
I don't know if I'll like that movie so I'll wait till it's in Redbox.
I don't know if I'll like it or be good enough to do this pageant or contest.
I don't know anything about that job so I better stick to doing something I already know.
I don't know what is down that road so I will take the highway instead.
I don't know if they will say yes so I will not even ask.
I have never heard of that speaker so I will chose a different talk in a break out session.
I don't know anything about that retreat so I better not go in case it is not a good experience.

I sat here looking at my chocolates realizing if I do not take the risk and try any, then they will all go to waste. There could be some perfectly good and delicious chocolates in there, but I will never know and experience them if I give into my fear of eating them in case I bite into a weird one. So I had one and it was weird, but then I tried a 2nd one and it was good.

It is the same with life. Life is full of little and big unknowns. God sets before us countless opportunities, things to try, people to meet, talents and gifts to try etc. things we can't have all figured out beforehand. We often let them pass by for fear of taking the risk. If we constantly do that then we end up missing out on a great good life He wants to give us. Sometimes we have to take the risk and go for it without having it all figured out before hand. We have to trust Him.

Now there is not a whole lot one can do about a weird chocolate, but spit it out or just keep on chewing through it. We have those choices in life too when things turn out bad or weird, we either can turn around and stop what we're doing, shake it off and move on, or if that is not possible we may just have to go on through it. We must remember that God doesn't leave us alone in it. Again we have to trust Him. As we go through it, it may even end up not being all bad we can learn something or find it is good after all. Or it could be all bad but that should not keep us from trying something else.

You can probably add to the list above. You too can probably think of times you opted out of something because of the unknowns. I know I often choose to not take the risk and research as much as possible first. I think back on some of those times with regret. I know of times when I did take the risk too and they turned out to be incredible. And there have been times I took the risk and it was a flop, but I "chewed through it," or just stopped and accepted my losses and moved on. What I have learned in those times is that God never let me fall. We may hit some pretty low places in life, but He never abandons you. We can trust Him.

So what I've learned from this innocent little box of unknown chocolates is sometimes you have to take a risk rather than letting a lot of good possibilities go to waste. This is definitely still something I must work at. 

We must trust God.

Confession at Holy Hill

This past weekend I traveled to Wisconsin to visit Adam and his family. One thing Adam and I like to do is visit churches near where we travel to. Saturday we went up to the Basilica and Shrine of Mary Help of Christians at Holy Hill. It is an incredibly gorgeous and peaceful place to visit and I highly recommend it!

Anyhow, we decided to go up to the chapel to pray and try to make it in for confession before mass. I obviously will not share what I confessed, but I learned something very important in the confessional. After I had confessed my sins the priest began to say, "It is good you are here and that God gives us this great sacrament, it reminds us that...." In my mind I immediately already finished his sentence as he had continued. I thought, "it makes us see our flaws when it is always so easy for us to see them in others we need to be reminded we have flaws too, knock us off our high horse (so to speak)..." and I thought I had some great little epiphany of the good in this sacrament.

As I was reveling in my own thoughts in my head, I heard him finish his sentence "....God greatly desires a relationship with us." I was way off. God loves us. I continued to listen to him talk to me of this relationship that is so important to God. Our sins and all keep us from Him. They fill us until there is no room for Him in our life. When we talk ill of others there is no room to see the good in them, when we get caught up in doing things our way we fail to see God's way or what is best for ourselves and others. When we get distracted, time for God gets filled with other things, shopping, sports etc. When we do not honor our parents or others in authority we fill our time only honoring ourselves, not God. When we waste time, God gets less, if any. When we covet what others have and focus on what we do not have, what all we want, we no longer have time for appreciating what God has given us or for Him to fill us with what we need. I could go on.


The sacrament of Confession is our place to get rid of everything that keeps us from God, to reset. God wants us to be with Him in all ways. This sacrament is a great merciful gift that cleanses us of all that keeps us from being filled with His life and grace. In this sacrament He doesn't see us as the flawed people we are. He doesn't look at us in the confessional like "yup you messed up, look what you did, how awful, why do you keep doing that, are you really sorry...etc." If that is what you think happens in there, or what you fear or dread about going to confession, then someone is really doing their best with their lies to keep you from the exact sacrament you need! Satan feeds us those lies. Those kinds of thoughts, fears, doubts and shame are not of God. Don't get me wrong, having some healthy guilt and shame for what you have done is not a bad thing, it means we truly are sorry and it shows we do care that we have messed up because we know we have hurt our relationship with God. However when that keeps you from the sacrament it is no longer healthy and no longer a product of your own remorse but has become something Satan is using to keep you separated from God's grace.

God does not look at you in the confessional only seeing your flaws. God sees a child wanting to be closer to Him, lost, and in need of grace, forgiveness and His fatherly love. God sees someone He loves and desperately wants to heal the relationship with. He is glad you are there. He is ready and waiting to abundantly flood your heart with His grace as soon as you let go of the sin you have carried in it.

Furthermore in mass during the homily the priest pointed out how Jesus came to us as a baby and the gospel takes time to specify He was laid in a manger. He was laid in an object which had the sole purpose of feeding all animals. A manger is used to feed. The farmer keeps it full and the animals come to feed and be nourished as they please. The good farmer wants them to have their fill. I had never had this pointed out to me before! Again God shows that He desires for a relationship with us, to nourish us. God is that good farmer that keeps the manger full. Jesus became our bread of life and calls on us to literally receive and consume His body and blood in John 6 and the Last Supper. He literally feeds us Himself in the Holy Eucharist.

Make this the year to allow God in your life through these great sacraments. Regularly make use of them and see how He fills and nourishes you. See how your relationship with Him will change and grow. See how your life will change with Him filling it. You will be fulfilled

Basilica at Holy Hill

Mark Swapp

I just want to share with everyone a friend I had in college at Texas A&M, Mark Swapp. I never got a chance to let him know how much of an impact he had in my life and what his friendship meant. Mark passed away on April 3, 2018, after a battle with cancer.

I met Mark at Fuego’s Tacos. I was eating with a friend after a bible study and he walked up and introduced himself and told me I was beautiful and that he really felt I should know that. Then he gave me his business card & asked if I would want to go out for ice cream or something to give him a call. Well, I was flattered, but also discerning a call to religious life so not interested in dating, but thought maybe he could be alright as a friend. I also was wondering, what kind of guy has a business card? Not too long later I found out we had a mutual friend, Jake Reed and Jake enthusiastically encouraged me to seek friendship with Mark, that he was a one of a kind great guy and I would not regret it.

So I called Mark and we met up. I told him right away of my plans for religious life and though he didn't fully understand listened and asked questions and admired that I was seeking to know what God wanted. I definitely had fun getting to know Mark and hanging out with him and his friends. He was always positive and fun loving and a very warm soul. He did have his quirks and he owned them and always encouraged others to "own it." He had a good sense of humor. He loved his old red truck and "she" had a name I can't remember. You could be sure to hear John Denver playing, one of his favorites. Those songs definitely fit Mark and his easy going personality and the simplicity in which he chose to live life. We had good laughs and some good adventures. 

 Both of us were very devoted to our respective faiths, which lead us to experience things we otherwise would not have. I got a glimpse of what things were like in the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints and he came with me to mass on Sunday and even some daily, at St. Mary’s. The best was the day he and Jake surprised me for my birthday by coming to daily mass when I hadn’t even asked or mentioned it. It meant so much that they knew this was that important to me and came to mass. Our respective faiths and our own devotion as well got us into some challenging discussions. Some not so fun because for one we were both stubborn, but ultimately we also both deeply loved our faith and just desired the other to understand. To each of us, our faith was a gift and we wanted others to have that gift too. During one of our more difficult conversations regarding each other’s faith. He called me out about spiritual growth. He bluntly asked what are you doing? What are you doing to help others to grow, how are you growing? It caught me off guard and I realized yeah what am I doing? I was involved at church already, but mostly with what was convenient and comfortable for me. So I went outside of myself that year, I signed up to pray at the planned parenthood sidewalk, I signed up for Marcel’s classes to learn more about our faith, and joined a TOB group which I had been nervous about before. I as well got more courage to actually go and visit convents. I grew so much in that year and I thank Mark for giving me that shove to get up and move and grow rather than coast along where I was comfortable. Our faith conversations as well got me to take a serious look at the deeper meaning of what it is to be Catholic. So much we take for granted. I know it was not Mark’s intention, but he actually made me a better Catholic and I’m grateful to him for that.

Though those conversations on our faith were difficult they definitely challenged us and helped us to grow and learn how to share our faith and as well how not to. How important it is to care for the person you are sharing with first, to see Christ in them. I thank Mark for that experience.

Mark was super generous with everything, and always putting others before himself. He got a guy friend of his to help us move me into a house during the summer and brought his tools to help get things set up in that house. When my car broke down he made sure I had a ride where I needed to be. He definitely treated me, ice cream, hamburger helper meals (his specialty), going out dancing and just good fun walks to explore a new park or the Brazos River, and really edifying conversations. 

He was challenging and inspiring. He never accepted mediocracy even with others he encountered. He always had the attitude that if you can be better, or be your best why not be your best? Why be comfortable where you are at? He never was unkind or prideful in this attitude, rather he was your biggest motivator. He walked with you and encouraged you. My grandfather died the summer I met Mark and I remember one conversation he was a bit bothered by how depressed I was. I got upset with him for being bothered. He immediately apologized but respectfully also didn’t leave it at that. He said he wanted me to be happy and reminded me of the positives, reminded me where my grandfather was and how much God loved him and loved me too. Then he took me to have some fun, we went fishing. 

Finally, I want to say Mark was honest and he was transparent about how he felt and what he saw, the good and not so good. He never sugar coated things for the sake of someone's feelings. I remember him saying what good is it if you think someone is (insert any positive affirmation). You should definitely tell that person, they deserve to hear it. And he definitely lived that out. He was also the kind of friend though you could count on to call you out with honesty when you needed it. He did with me and of course, I didn’t like it, but the thing is he was right and today I wish I could go back and laugh about it with him.

Today I wish I could go back. I didn’t know Mark was sick with cancer. I do wish I had known and wonder if I could have had one last chat with him.  I wish there could be a “40 years down the road” when I could run into him and catch up on life. I am sad I won't hear his voice again. He is gone, but I’m not going to be too sad because obviously, he would not like it for me to be that way. He would want me to be happy and have fun and to keep on growing. So, true to what Jake said, Mark was one of a kind and his friendship, though brief, will be one I never forget or regret. My only regret is not keeping up with him well over the years since that summer. I am a better person for having been blessed with him in my life even if it was just for a little while.

So some takeaways from Mark's life:

Love God above all and keep your faith center.
Give positive affirmation when you are inspired to, people should hear it.

Be honest, it's an act of charity.

Acknowledge your good traits and your quirks, own your quirks. 

Be generous with your time and resources, after all, they aren't your's they come from God.

Meet people where they are, but always love them enough to not leave them where they are at.

Never back down from what you believe in and always have the courage to share it with others.

Take time to share in what is important in others lives and get to know them in that.

Never lose sight of the positive things in life.

Live simply and seek the peace and joy God desires.

Don't put off reaching out to a friend, catching up, or making a visit. "40 years" is not guaranteed.
Don't wait until someone has died to appreciate the good God created in them.

Thank you, God, for the life of Mark Swapp

First Post

Here's to the beginning of the Catholic and a Half blog by me, Alyson Klimitchek, aka Catholic and a Half. I met a guy in college named Kelly in an RPTS (recreation parks and tourism science) class we both did not want to be in, but was required in our WFSC (wildlife and fisheries science) degree plan at Texas A&M. We met while doing a group project and be came study partners from there. One night as he was driving me back to my car which was parked over at St. Mary's as I never wanted to pay for parking on campus, we got on the topic of faith. I briefly said what all I was involved with at St. Mary's and how I liked to go to mass every evening. His response, "well aren't you just a Catholic and a half." I laughed and thought yeah I guess so. He told me a bit about his story, how he was baptized Catholic but wasn't really into it at that point. I still wonder about him from time to time. After that semester we never really connected again. I wonder where he's at and what he's doing. I wonder about if he goes to church and I pray for him. I wonder if he remembers me. 

Going forward from that thinking back on the memory of that night in his truck when he called me that I always smile. He barely knew me and that's what he saw, a Catholic and a half. That's a good name to live up to. Be Catholic and be more than typical. Be Catholic and be more than the minimum. 

Fr. Max at my home parish once gave a homily on the basic minimum requirements of Catholics. They are outlined in the Catechism as the Precepts of the Catholic Church. 

1. The first precept: You shall attend Mass on Sundas and Holy Days of Obligation and rest from servile labor."
2. The second precept: You shall confess your [serious] sins at least once a year.
3. The third precept: You shall receive the sacrament of the Eucharist at least once during the Easter season.
4. The fourth precept: You shall observe the days of fasting and abstinence established by the Church.
5. The fifth precept: You shall help to provide for the needs of the Chruch.
   For more please read CCC 2041-2043

I remember when he stated these 5 precepts I thought wow, really that is it? Fr. Max of course challenged the congregation to being more than just the minimum.

"Do not be afraid. Do not be satisfied with mediocrity. Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch." -St. John Paul II

Too often we settle for mediocrity in many aspects of life. We may even praise it rather than correcting it and expecting more or better. We have settled into mediocrity when it comes to respect both for ourselves and others, in manners, in attire, in work, in school, in discipline, and the list goes on. We definitely have settled into this mediocrity in our faith. We have accepted it as the norm. Watered down the traditions and theology so as to please all, make everyone comfortable and just get by. We speed through prayers, show up late for mass, dress in whatever we feel like, we may or may not participate with the songs and prayers of the liturgy, never explain to others why we do what we do. Maybe we don't really know our faith but settle with what we have and never bother to learn and grow. May put off confession reasoning our way out of the guilt. Perhaps we see God as merely just a "best buddy" rather than the all supreme loving, merciful, and just judge that He is.

Let's stop settling! Wake up and be better! Be fully the person God called you to be! Don't just settle for being a nominal Catholic. Let your faith really mean something in your life. Let others see the difference it makes in you through your words and actions. Keep on learning and growing and invite others to join you. Don't just meet people where they are at, challenge them to go forward. Let's live our faith and show the world what, more importantly who, the Catholic church is. If we all woke up one day and lived it we could change the world. Be an intentional disciple! Be a Catholic and a Half!