Mark Swapp

I just want to share with everyone a friend I had in college at Texas A&M, Mark Swapp. I never got a chance to let him know how much of an impact he had in my life and what his friendship meant. Mark passed away on April 3, 2018, after a battle with cancer.

I met Mark at Fuego’s Tacos. I was eating with a friend after a bible study and he walked up and introduced himself and told me I was beautiful and that he really felt I should know that. Then he gave me his business card & asked if I would want to go out for ice cream or something to give him a call. Well, I was flattered, but also discerning a call to religious life so not interested in dating, but thought maybe he could be alright as a friend. I also was wondering, what kind of guy has a business card? Not too long later I found out we had a mutual friend, Jake Reed and Jake enthusiastically encouraged me to seek friendship with Mark, that he was a one of a kind great guy and I would not regret it.

So I called Mark and we met up. I told him right away of my plans for religious life and though he didn't fully understand listened and asked questions and admired that I was seeking to know what God wanted. I definitely had fun getting to know Mark and hanging out with him and his friends. He was always positive and fun loving and a very warm soul. He did have his quirks and he owned them and always encouraged others to "own it." He had a good sense of humor. He loved his old red truck and "she" had a name I can't remember. You could be sure to hear John Denver playing, one of his favorites. Those songs definitely fit Mark and his easy going personality and the simplicity in which he chose to live life. We had good laughs and some good adventures. 

 Both of us were very devoted to our respective faiths, which lead us to experience things we otherwise would not have. I got a glimpse of what things were like in the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints and he came with me to mass on Sunday and even some daily, at St. Mary’s. The best was the day he and Jake surprised me for my birthday by coming to daily mass when I hadn’t even asked or mentioned it. It meant so much that they knew this was that important to me and came to mass. Our respective faiths and our own devotion as well got us into some challenging discussions. Some not so fun because for one we were both stubborn, but ultimately we also both deeply loved our faith and just desired the other to understand. To each of us, our faith was a gift and we wanted others to have that gift too. During one of our more difficult conversations regarding each other’s faith. He called me out about spiritual growth. He bluntly asked what are you doing? What are you doing to help others to grow, how are you growing? It caught me off guard and I realized yeah what am I doing? I was involved at church already, but mostly with what was convenient and comfortable for me. So I went outside of myself that year, I signed up to pray at the planned parenthood sidewalk, I signed up for Marcel’s classes to learn more about our faith, and joined a TOB group which I had been nervous about before. I as well got more courage to actually go and visit convents. I grew so much in that year and I thank Mark for giving me that shove to get up and move and grow rather than coast along where I was comfortable. Our faith conversations as well got me to take a serious look at the deeper meaning of what it is to be Catholic. So much we take for granted. I know it was not Mark’s intention, but he actually made me a better Catholic and I’m grateful to him for that.

Though those conversations on our faith were difficult they definitely challenged us and helped us to grow and learn how to share our faith and as well how not to. How important it is to care for the person you are sharing with first, to see Christ in them. I thank Mark for that experience.

Mark was super generous with everything, and always putting others before himself. He got a guy friend of his to help us move me into a house during the summer and brought his tools to help get things set up in that house. When my car broke down he made sure I had a ride where I needed to be. He definitely treated me, ice cream, hamburger helper meals (his specialty), going out dancing and just good fun walks to explore a new park or the Brazos River, and really edifying conversations. 

He was challenging and inspiring. He never accepted mediocracy even with others he encountered. He always had the attitude that if you can be better, or be your best why not be your best? Why be comfortable where you are at? He never was unkind or prideful in this attitude, rather he was your biggest motivator. He walked with you and encouraged you. My grandfather died the summer I met Mark and I remember one conversation he was a bit bothered by how depressed I was. I got upset with him for being bothered. He immediately apologized but respectfully also didn’t leave it at that. He said he wanted me to be happy and reminded me of the positives, reminded me where my grandfather was and how much God loved him and loved me too. Then he took me to have some fun, we went fishing. 

Finally, I want to say Mark was honest and he was transparent about how he felt and what he saw, the good and not so good. He never sugar coated things for the sake of someone's feelings. I remember him saying what good is it if you think someone is (insert any positive affirmation). You should definitely tell that person, they deserve to hear it. And he definitely lived that out. He was also the kind of friend though you could count on to call you out with honesty when you needed it. He did with me and of course, I didn’t like it, but the thing is he was right and today I wish I could go back and laugh about it with him.

Today I wish I could go back. I didn’t know Mark was sick with cancer. I do wish I had known and wonder if I could have had one last chat with him.  I wish there could be a “40 years down the road” when I could run into him and catch up on life. I am sad I won't hear his voice again. He is gone, but I’m not going to be too sad because obviously, he would not like it for me to be that way. He would want me to be happy and have fun and to keep on growing. So, true to what Jake said, Mark was one of a kind and his friendship, though brief, will be one I never forget or regret. My only regret is not keeping up with him well over the years since that summer. I am a better person for having been blessed with him in my life even if it was just for a little while.

So some takeaways from Mark's life:

Love God above all and keep your faith center.
Give positive affirmation when you are inspired to, people should hear it.

Be honest, it's an act of charity.

Acknowledge your good traits and your quirks, own your quirks. 

Be generous with your time and resources, after all, they aren't your's they come from God.

Meet people where they are, but always love them enough to not leave them where they are at.

Never back down from what you believe in and always have the courage to share it with others.

Take time to share in what is important in others lives and get to know them in that.

Never lose sight of the positive things in life.

Live simply and seek the peace and joy God desires.

Don't put off reaching out to a friend, catching up, or making a visit. "40 years" is not guaranteed.
Don't wait until someone has died to appreciate the good God created in them.

Thank you, God, for the life of Mark Swapp