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| Frankie Louis Klimitchek August 23, 1965 - March 16, 2019 |
"Be Ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an unexpected hour." Mattthew 24:44
We're all going to die. Going to, death is thought of in the future. We know it can be any moment, for us or for anyone. It's more often than not, not an immediate worry, unless someone is ill or in a critical condition. Death is one day in the future, always in the future, "far off somewhere."
As a kid I never really thought about death for myself or anyone except for a couple instances. I remember seeing it in movies, like the original Land Before Time. I kept thinking Little Foot was going to find his mom again when he got to the Great Valley, but Little Foot's mom was gone. There was once my mom caught me sitting on the window sill of the 2nd story window that overlooked the driveway of our old house in Rockport. I was about 4 or 5. I had the window open and all that was between me and the concrete was the window screen and certainly my guardian angel. My mom held me tight, knocked the screen out then let whatever toys I had near by fall through the window. I can still see them hitting the concrete. She said "that could have been you." I know I scared her and it scared me too realizing I could have been broken(as a toy was). With that, I think I was more concerned with the pain that would come from falling that far, not the reality of certain death.
I remember going to funerals and my parents teaching me to pray for the person, but I didn't comprehend fully that these people were gone. As a kid, everyone we know is here for now and we have no thoughts about that ever changing. We have our past fun memories, we live in the present and the future is a fun time of possibilities we don't think too seriously about. So when death comes for a favorite pet or beloved grandparent, it hits pretty hard realizing we can no longer enjoy them as we always had. We aren't prepared for it, never see it coming.
I'm 29 no longer a kid, and though I have an understanding of death now, I realize I'm not prepared. On Saturday March 16, 2019 this reality caught me off guard when my dad told me the awful news.
"What are you doing?"
"Fixing to make a broccoli salad for tomorrow."
"Uncle Frankie was found dead in his apartment today."
I turned off the TV show I was watching and was in complete disbelief, we talked about it a little, but so much was unknown. I got up and went to make my salad. It was good to have something to do, but honestly I was having some extreme thoughts.... we never know, so why am I wasting time with TV, I should take care of this salad. That night I began digging in our photo boxes searching for him. I cried realizing he is really no longer here.
What initially bothered me with his death the most was knowing that we just don't know exactly when or how he died. I thought back on that week prior. Monday we'd been to Granny's, Tuesday Adam and I took a day trip to San Antonio, Wednesday the youth group built a ramp and I made a cream cheese roll for Dr. Renger, Thursday and Friday I cleaned out our upstairs bathroom, Friday evening my mom and I went to stations, and we had Fr. Max over for supper. Uncle Frankie even came up in the conversation trying to compare ages of some people, I remember explaining to Fr. Max that my parents were talking about my uncle. Saturday I spent the day with my beautiful niece. It was a wonderful week, but it bothered me, all this time who knows when or how long exactly, Uncle Frankie had already left us.
The second thing that bothered me was thinking back on the most recent times he had been around. I have never doubted he cared about me, but did he know I cared about him? Did we always show him Christ's love and did he know how much we all loved him? That's something I wonder about anytime someone has died. I shared this with Fr. Max among other things I was worrying about regarding the unknowns surrounding his death. I can't remember what he said word for word, but what helped me is that he said something to the effect that we don't always know ....and that we have to trust these things into the loving and merciful hands of God. Hearing that honestly eased my worrying almost immediately. Sometimes we need people to tell us, to remind us, of those simple basic truths especially when we turn in on ourselves in our worry and sorrow. In that moment I had a quick image come to my mind of placing these worries along with Uncle Frankie in God's hands (that I pictured cupped together in a bowl shape ready to hold all my stuff.) God's hands are a safe and secure place for Uncle Frankie. I'm not worried, he knows he is loved by God, and I will of course continue to pray for his soul. I'm at peace trusting him to God's hands.
I also remember a time seeing him very frustrated that I wont forget either. Someone (not Uncle Frankie) had literally parked me in with a lawn mower at Granny's house. I needed to get on the road to meet someone and could not for anything figure out how to make the mower go in reverse. I went in to tell people I needed help and felt pretty dumb I couldn't back up a lawn mower and half expected someone to make a joke about my education or something. Uncle Frankie was the first to jump up saying he'd come help me not giving me a hard time about it at all. He though as well tried unsuccessfully and got pretty upset with it. Uncle Louis came out and very calmly showed us exactly what to do (which seemed to us to be some cryptic combination of levers and foot pedals) and backed it up. Uncle Frankie said it was a "piece of junk stupid design" and I agreed with him. I held back a smile though seeing his frustration. I remember thinking this way in that moment. He really wanted to help me and was probably some what frustrated he couldn't do that. He hadn't given me a hard time about it, then he tried his best to help. I just felt very cared for by my uncle in that moment.
When you think about what people will remember about you, you hope they would remember the good because all of us are created good, and none of us are perfect. Uncle Frankie was very good, but not perfect just like the rest of us. These things though, are what I am going to hang on to about Uncle Frankie when I think back on him, the genuine way he expressed joy, and that he loved us all so very much.
We're all going to miss him a lot. None of us could have been prepared for his sudden departure. I know I will think about him at all the future family gatherings as I do my Papa. I think Fr. Dominic said it well in his homily when he described death as a person leaving on a ship across the ocean. The people in the port of departure are sad and waving good bye, crying, and missing the ship as it disappears over the horizon. On the other side though at the port where the ship comes in, we hope, is a completely opposite scene. There everyone is excited and shouting to welcome the ship into port. I pray, trusting in God's love and mercy, for the final destination of Uncle Frankie's ship.
Some final thoughts I had:
"The dust returns to the earth as it was, and the breath returns to God who gave it." Ecclesiastes 12:7
Seeing the box reminded me of the words we had just heard not long ago on Ash Wednesday, "Remember you are dust and unto dust you shall return." It makes you realize how the Earthly things we cling to in life really do not matter. It's not worth it to hold on to sin or past grievances with others. It makes you realize what is important, God and family. One beautiful thing is that there gathered around Uncle Frankie's ashes, we were together as a family in God's house. His death brought us all together in a good place, surrounded by what matters in life most.
"In whatever you do, remember your last days, and you will never sin." Sirach 7:36
We do not have to be totally unprepared for our inevitable last days we can prepare even if it doesn't seem to be immediate for us. Thinking about our last days, reminds us that our life here on Earth is finite. Our amount of time is uncertain. Thinking about our last days gives us a clear vision of our ultimate destination. We want to arrive at death and be able to know, "I have lived as God desired me to live, and I have spent my time well." Keeping that vision in mind helps us to be able to clearly make good decisions that get us closer to it and closer to our desired eternal life with God.
The box was that contained Uncle Frankie's cremated body was very small which really put things into perspective. To think that as insignificant as we may seem, God infinitely loves each of us with a love that took Him to the ultimate suffering and death on the cross. He did this because God desires us to have His life of grace so that we can be with Him for eternity in Heaven. Is that our ultimate vision, hope and desire now and when our last days come? Do we want to be with Him for eternity? Do we live that way?
"For I am already being poured out like a libation, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith. From now on the crown of righteousness awaits me, which the Lord, the just judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me, but to all who have longed for His appearance. " 2 Timothy 4:6-8 (2nd reading from his Memorial Mass)
May we all continue to live lives striving for holiness so that when our ship reaches the other port we are greeted by none other than God, surrounded by all His Saints and Angels. May we continue to pray for our departed loved ones souls that we may see them all there too, that they are the ones on the dock shouting and smiling as we come in.
Eternal rest grant unto Frankie, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him.
May he rest in peace. Amen
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| Dancing with Adrienne |
