No one has greater love than this, to lay down
one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13
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| Old Jesuit Cemetery, Grand Coteau, LA |
John 15:13 of course describes God, Who is love. We can look back
and see how the 2nd Person of the Trinity humbled Himself (laying down His life
in a sense), to live as one of us out of love for us. Christ’s whole earthly
life was lived in this way as well. During His time on earth He was fully God
and fully man and chose to live to the full a natural human life, being
obedient to Mary and Joseph, not sparing Himself any suffering or struggles
even though He was fully divine. He laid down His life as He left his mother,
his work, his home and all to set out and teach and preach and bring people to
know the true love, mercy, and healing of God. At the end of His life on earth,
Christ shows us this love in the ultimate way through His suffering and death
as He sacrificed Himself to save us on the cross.
This verse came to mind
most recently, on Sunday, as I drove away from the St. Mary’s rectory after
having one last good visit with my very dear friend, Fr. Max Landman. Yesterday
he entered The Society of Jesus (Jesuits) to continue to discern a vocation
with them. After that one last hug, and “I’ll see you again one day,” I
entirely expected the tears to flow, but they didn’t come. Of course I’m going
to miss him, he has been one incredible devoted holy priest in our diocese and
we have been blessed by his presence and ministry for these four years. His
friendship has been an edifying gift in my own life. I'm grateful for all the ways he helped me grow spiritually and for the love of Christ I’ve encountered just
through knowing him. Instead of crying with the reality that I'm not sure when I will see him again, I just smiled as I went away. I am filled with sincere joy, and admiration for
him and what God is doing in His life.
This verse captures the reality of what Fr. Max has been and is continuing to do with his life. He is laying it down in love for Christ to bring as many souls as possible to Him. He is a great example of what it looks like to constantly be attentive and aware of the presence and movements of God in our lives and to keep seeking holiness no matter where it takes us. When he first told me about his discernment with the Jesuits it surprised me. I thought oh wait you aren’t set just because you are ordained, discernment isn’t ever over? It makes sense, God doesn’t just drop us off and say okay hope to see you in Heaven at the end of your road you chose!
God calls and invites us all to live out John 15:13. Just as this laying down of one’s life kind of love is not a singular event in the life of Christ, it cannot be a singular event for us either on the day of one’s wedding, ordination, profession of vows or even in our single state of life. This is going to look different in each of our unique lives, but it is directed at the same goal, that we grow in holiness and closer to Jesus. This is the great purpose we are all created for! None of us are here by chance, were all here with a purpose to give God glory and help each other reach Heaven. In his spiritual exercises, St. Ignatius of Loyola teaches, "All the things in this world are gifts of God, created for us, to be the means by which we can come to know him better, love him more surely, and serve him more faithfully." If we strive to see Jesus in all things and in all people, we can grow in holiness and encounter Christ everywhere as He so desires us to. When we cooperate with God's goodness in our own lives, we help others grow in holiness and come closer to God whether we or they realize it or not. Sometimes, with some people and events it is a lot easier than with others of course.
This was one of the greatest and most challenging lessons I learned in the exercises of St. Ignatius. I think (and this is just my own personal thought) St. Ignatius in a way put John 15:13 in his own words when he says in the 2nd principal of the Contemplation To Attain Love, “Love consists in sharing what one has and what one is with those one loves.” This is the love that is God. He shares Himself completely, all that He has and all that He is with those who He loves, all of us!
When praying with this St. Ignatius prompts you to then reflect on this fact and contemplate then what you ought to give to God in light of this truth. The answer is everything, your time, your family, your friends, your job, hobbies, prayer, literally everything, all that you possess. Lay down your life for Christ. Christ asks us to share all that we have, all that we are with Him. He doesn’t force us to give anything up. We have free will and have the freedom to choose to do this in every present moment of our lives. It is much easier said than done. We like to have control or do things our own way, and we become possessive of our possessions (don't just think material). Naturally there are things we can’t or won’t have as they aren’t conducive to our unique beautiful path to holiness. This is where we’re called to have “holy indifference,” or be spiritually free realizing if it will not lead us to our greater holiness then we really don’t need it and therefore shouldn't choose it. The Jesuits have a motto, Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam. It means “all for the greater glory of God.” This is how we can lay down our lives for Jesus in every moment. This motto reminds one to choose daily in all our thoughts, words and actions, what will give God the most glory.
How can we know when we are living out John 15:13? St. Ignatius as well said, "Whatever you are doing, that which makes you feel the most alive...that is where God is." This is what happens when we lay down our lives for Jesus in every moment, we gain life in Christ. We become more of the incredible person God intended us to be from the beginning. This is so freeing and life giving! This is what we may easily see others when they come alive in what God has called them to. It as well gives us joy and excitement as we're getting to witness God's beauty in them.
If we can have this joy seeing it in others shouldn't we be able to have that joy seeing the workings and movements of God in our own lives too? (YES) This isn't a bad thing or a "look at me how good and holy I am living." Rather in true humility do I recognize the goodness of God in all things in my own life and how do I respond? Even as I witness plainly this great good in others as they choose to lay down their lives for Christ, I am still daily challenged by it even though it is clearly what I want. I desire to live out this call and invitation in my life, to live out more the Alyson God created me to be. However I'm not always actively aware of how God is inviting me to lay down my life for Him. Many times I'm not living very intentionally, many times I'm distracted, and other times honestly I'm clearly failing to answer this invitation as I choose my own way over greater holiness.
This is why doing an examen at the end of the day is so helpful and critical. A good examen calls us first to gratitude for the great goodness of God that is always present in our lives. Then it guides us to become aware of how and where we live in and out of that goodness of God. Then it as well guides us to become aware of where we fall short and need His grace and mercy most. We are all ordinary human beings just trying to choose holiness, to lay down our lives for Jesus, one step at a time. No one is perfect at it, Jesus knows that, He knows we're going to fall and fail, but that doesn't take away the goodness of Christ in us or stop Him from offering His grace time after time and patiently waiting for us to receive it. So being challenged, frustrated or failing with it should never stop us! All we can do is try and take the next step the best we can. There is the saying “a saint is a sinner who keeps on trying” and the internet isn’t much help in trying to figure out where it came from. One Saint put it this way, “Don’t forget that the saint is not the person who never falls, but rather the one who never fails to get up again, humbly and with a holy stubbornness." St. Josemaria Escriva.
We have to keep being aware and listening as He is actively loving and calling us in every moment daily. He simply asks us to trust and choose holiness in all we say, think, and do, to choose to set aside ourselves, lose our lives in Christ, and strive to give Him the greatest glory in all things. God gives us all that we need, all of Himself, in every step.
If you read this please
pause a moment and say a prayer for Fr. Max Landman as he begins this new
journey with Christ as a Jesuit.
