In Port Aransas my family went to the beach one evening and after taking a bunch of pictures with Aubrey, I took a quick walk. I have a tendency to pick up anything interesting I find when walking on the beach. I would see a pretty shell here and there and pick it up and before I knew it I ended up with two handfuls of seashells, driftwood, sea beans and a piece of pumice. So at this point I was far from where my family had set up, my hands were full, I could not pick up any more, and I was no longer free to enjoy my walk as I was too occupied with managing in my hands what I had collected. I wanted to keep going, but turned back to see my family packing everything up. While I love a good walk on the beach, I realized I missed out on some hang out time with them.
The last morning we were in Port Aransas my mom got me up to
go see the sun rise over the water. Thankfully there were a lot of clouds on
the horizon otherwise I would have made us late. I took pictures and started
walking a bit looking around for anything interesting as usual. I stopped for a
moment and looked at the waves coming in with the low rising sun shining over
them. It was soothing, peaceful and beautiful and I realized I wasn’t
appreciating it all as fully as I ought. Sure I got some great shots with my
phone, but did I really stop and just enjoy the beauty God was painting before
me? I did find another sea bean but at what cost? I missed watching the rest of
the sun rise. As I walked back I saw a pretty grey clam shell, looked at it,
appreciated it, and let it go.
I have been reflecting on this a bit learning a lesson God
has had to repeat for me in my life over and over. When our hands are full we
cannot be free receive all that God wants us to have. We are not free to
receive His joy and peace. We are not free to go as far as He desires to take
us. We are not free to be present to those He has placed in our lives. We’re
not free to receive the love He desires to give us both directly and through
those closest to us. I don’t want to live in a way where I’m not free to
appreciate all God has blessed me with.
What are our hands full of? This is different for everyone.
For some it may very well be possessions. Having many means a lot of time goes
to organizing and maintaining them. For
many of us it could even be activities and work. Both are good and even holy
things, but here is where quality matters and not quantity. We’re supposed to
be human beings, not just “human doings.” If one has so much on their plate
that they are not able to be present in their work or activities then it does
no good for anyone. One thing I’ve noticed lately is how much my phone
literally ties my hands up whether I am at home or out somewhere. It can become
a big time waster. When it comes to time, how is yours being spent? Are any of
these things draining an inordinate amount of you time? Do you still have time
left for what is important, your spiritual life, and your family?
I want to share my 4th
of July. It was the most fun I’ve had on the 4th in a long time. I
went to mass in the morning at St. John’s with my mom and left my phone in the
car. Afterwards I went to the veteran’s ceremony and there was plenty one would
want to take pictures of or record, but I didn’t have my phone and that was
okay. I got to eat lunch with some friends, Ms. Wendy and some of our
seminarians and we even danced. I left
for a bit to go home and change out of church clothes and put on a pair of
shorts I had been looking forward to wearing for the 4th, they were
patriotic colored, but they had no pockets. I could either change the shorts or
carry my purse. I stuck with my red white and blue shorts and when I arrived at
the picnic I did not want to carry my purse. So I stuck my money in my shoe and
left my phone in the car. It was again freeing, I had no idea of the time
passing, I played some bingo, and enjoyed seeing people I hadn’t in a while. I
had some really good conversations and even spent some time in silence inside
the church. I went home again and came back and it was no question I left my
phone in the car again. Again I enjoyed just getting to visit with people, was
able to dance some more and when the fire work show came I just enjoyed it in
the company of a good friend. I felt like it was the best fireworks experience
I ever had. The company was good and also I did not have my phone, I was not
trying to capture the perfect shot of the explosions. I just appreciated it all
for what it was, felt the surprise and excitement with each one as they fired
off wondering what it would look like. I am left with a really great memory of
that day and night even though there are no pictures to show for it.
I invite anyone who might read this to reflect and pray and
ask God to show you what has your hands tied. See what He may be asking you to
let go of and then do it. When you see a sun rise or sun set be sure to take
time to soak it all in, you don't have to have the perfect shot of it. You don’t have to pick up every shell on the shore. Be
attentive to what God is telling you to just see and appreciate, and what to
hold on to, and what to let go of. It is not worth it to hold on so much to
anything that keeps you from really being free to be present with and enjoy the
beauty God has surrounded you with both in nature and in the good people He
places in your company. What or who do you value most? Just let go and be present there.
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